Witness Whiteness

6 04 2008

First of all, I’m not that racist. Second of all, someone needs to shoot every last white goose out of the sky. Not kidding. I’m looking to a species proficient with firearms (monkeys, otters) to help out on this.  

Seriously, we’ve got an overpopulation snafu on our wings up here. My flock only just crossed the Canadian border and I can’t tell you how many times one of these WASPy fucks has flown right into me and then said something in that whiny, nasal white goose voice like: “Martha, I do believe one of these northern ruffians has given me a bit of whiplash about the base of the neck.  Be a dear and massage it with your beak.”  Not realizing, of course, that his wife left his pale ass a week ago to roost up with some Canadian G who’ll treat her right.  

The traditional outdated dress of white geese

The traditional ugly-as-shit garb favored by white geese.




One response

20 06 2008
Designated Flyer « Caligula Vs. Nero

[…] is as bad as casting Tom Cruise as Genghis Kahn!  Out of the six geese portrayed here, five are the classic WASP-white shitheads, I suppose to match that eyesore bimbotini glass, and the sixth is an improbably large transparent […]

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