You’ve probably noticed that I am one bitter goose. What I mean is, yes, I support Hillary Clinton. Almost as much as I support Tom Petty (best Superbowl halftime show ever). So you can imagine how happy the Pennsylvania primary victory bash made me. I had been expecting the “Rocky” theme song again, which is thematically great and all, but standing there in that Best Buy I’d waddled into to watch the returns, seeing her enter to “I Won’t Back Down,” I started honking so emotionally that a couple of stock boys chased me out onto Lexington Avenue. It was a beautiful night, and I was drunk.
But today I saw something that turned my world upside down.
Hillary panders to the muppet demographic.
That’s right—sickening evidence, ignored by the useless mainstream media, that my beloved candidate once fraternized with a monstrous yellow freak who has said such unpatriotic things as: “Asking questions is a good way to find things out.” Does that vertically elitist thing want to destroy America or what? Keep your beak out of the government’s business, bird. And unless Hillary rejects and denounces those treasonous attitudes, well, let’s just say I’m a feather away from voting Ron Paul.
[...] his bike-fund money to HRC’s campaign. And my fans will remember me blowing the lid off of the fraternization between this piss-colored monster and Hillary herself back while she was at the height of her cookie-baking powers in the White [...]